Sunday, August 22, 2010

Another chance

Who hasn’t felt crazy about someone, that from the beginning you knew you couldn’t ever have? I guess we all love the thrill of the chase, and I thought for sometime that I could look away from love, and just feel the fire and the adrenaline of wanting and desiring a boy just for the game, for a moment witch lasted about an hour, I thought that I could get away with being a player, for the excitement of making people fall for me though I was not in love with them.
The truth is that I was foolish enough to think, that I could make myself, the girl who always falls in love with the wrong kind of players, become one of them. Why would I ever want to change you may ask: I was tired of being played.
Did I want revenge? Yeah, at the beginning I thought that was it, but now I know that I just didn’t want to feel that everything that had happen was my fault, that I wasn’t good enough.

Well, I was.

I’ve always believed in fairytales, although I haven’t experienced one, I just have a need to believe in all those “happy ever afters”. After feeling the pain of a broken heart, I know that all the glue in the world can’t erase what I had felt in that hot summer day, but I could accept the pain and move forward, cause I never stopped wondering what would come next, and I knew I had to think that what ever that was, it resumed itself to another test.
I passed it, with distinction, and I knew there wasn’t any other way, so even when I felt like a storm was forming all around, when everybody was afraid of talking about it out loud, I knew it had nothing to do with me, I was at peace.

So now, when someone asks me, If I’m alright, I just nod, smile and say: I have been for a while now.

The only game I’ll ever play in a world of players, is the game where I always win, the game of falling in love, never play for something in between. Sometimes a broken hearted girl is just another person with the chance of falling in love once more.