Saturday, January 16, 2010

A Touch of Truth

Everyone knows I only write when I'm sad, everyone knows there's only one person capable of making me mad. I haven't written in months, because I believe there are some feelings, some stories that aren't meant to be told.

My story is the same old one: girl falls for the wrong guy believing he's the right one, he shows her all the wonders in the world, takes her to fly in his magic carpet, tells her verything about Upendi, buys her the perfect crystal shoes, takes her to the ball in his white horse.. And leaves her in the midle of the final dance for the much prettier Cinderella..

The end is close, and as much as I wanted to delay this moment, I knew there could never be a happy ending, or at least not one that involved "and they lived happily ever after". I finaly discovered everything he tried to hide, all his dirt, and it hurt. I believed in someone that wasn't real, I believed in him for everything he made me feel, but he also taught me better, he taught me to see behind his lies, he taught me to stop believing in every try. I told him everything he wasn't expecting to hear, and for the first time I wasn't the one filled up with fear.. I knew I was the only person who could see him for what he really was, and from that moment on everything got worse. I don't know if it's regret, shame or some other feeling with no name, but our eyes don't find each other anymore, our conversations are nothing like before, and we don't walk towards each other, more, less, nothing, everything, how come there is never a midle term for us?

While writing the las paragraph I was thinking about what my conclusion should be, and I got to a fantastic finding: I'm clueless. All this time I thought that I knew everything that was going on, I could put all my feeling into paper, but now everything seems stuck, between what I should be saying, what I feel, and all that I do. All I wanted was to make him come true, turn him into what I thought he should've been for me, but then he wouldn't be him, and this wouldn't be called "a love story with an uncommon ending for the girld that sould've realize that the guy didn't belong to her fairytale".

It took one hour to write this, usually it takes fifteen minutes, which means that he still owns so much of my time, he's still with me although he was never mine.


  1. :/

    fairy tales are often idealistic rather than realistic, as they lead people into believing that every story has indeed a happy ending. but love isn't so simple. in fact, at least the first time we live the fairy tale, we end in a broken heart or in disappointment...

    but i think that's why fairy tales are important: thanks to them, we don't give up on love. (:

    he wasn't your prince charming, but believe me, you'll meet your prince charming and you'll have your happy ending (better than the fairytale ones xD)

  2. I'm going through the same thing. The guy took off the party mask & left, so now I'm left to find the right one.