Sunday, August 2, 2009
The old, new me
My mother use to say to me, that every person as a mission in life. I guess I never really thought about that until I was old enough to understand how short life is and that we should make the most of our time here.I spent most of my childhood in Macau, although I loved everything about that place, the culture, my friends everything, I always felt that I could be so much more..
I lived basically in a soap opera, it was all about gossip and popularity, it was never about who you really were, but instead it was about who would do anything to be someone else. It creeps me out to think about how many different persons I was in those nine years, and I admit that I'm not proud of who I tried to be.
It was only a year before I came to Portugal that finally I understood who I really was, and immediately knew that the true me was always there, I looked at it, but I could never really see it.
I came to Portugal and my world cracked into small little pieces, everyday I woke up in my new bed, and looked desperately trough my window hopping that somehow I had flown to Macau and everything would be OK. I finally gave up.. Macau was out of my life for good and I thought that I would loose myself again!
I was wrong!
I surprised myself, I knew that I couldn't go to that dark place again, of not knowing who I was anymore! I decided that I had nothing to loose, and with that in mind, I showed myself to the world, and... I survived
Now I know who I am! I can look in the mirror and not be ashamed of what I see! I'm so much more out there, and everything seems to be going in the right direction.
I've won, I've lost, over and over again, trying to get to the top of the mountain, until now.. Its clear to me that the journey is what really matters, not how fast I can get to the top.
It was never always about me, its about everyone, we must stick together, we are stronger as one, and for that I thank you my friends